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John Daly Granted Beer Cart Use At PGA Championship

FARMINGDALE, New York — After diving into John Daly’s drinking problems more, the PGA Tour announced Wednesday morning that Daly will be granted beer cart use at this week’s PGA Championship.

Daly has been drinking since he was 10-years-old and smoking cigarettes for a much longer time.

“We knew that for John to not die this week at Bethpage Black,” PGA Tour President of Golf Carts Charles Johnson said, “he absolutely needs to be driven around on a beer cart.”

Andrew Fettig — Daly’s friend since middle school emailed Two Grooves Low and said his childhood friend has a major drinking problem.

“Listen, John is a great guy,” the Fettig wrote. “But there comes a point in life where you have to put the bottle down.”

“I guess my dear friend John is not at that point yet. And I’ve gained so much more respect for the PGA Tour for letting him get escorted around to his golf ball on a beer cart.”

Johnson said the beer cart will be stocked with Miller Light and Marlboro Red 100’s.

“We need to put John in the best atmosphere possible,” he added. “We’ve put our eggs into one basket and only ordered enough beer and cigarettes for two days.”

“We don’t believe he’ll survive the weekend. … excuse me we don’t believe John will make the cut at the PGA Championship.”

Daly said at his lunch press conference today that he doesn’t plan on being sober for either round Thursday or Friday.

Adding, “most golfers wake up and do a vigorous workout, I on the other hand do something vigorous but it tends to lead to more bathroom breaks.”

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